Dani Reilly on grief, ambition and motherhood, and how multiple things can coexist at once

We spoke to Dani Reilly about the intersection of motherhood, grief and ambition — how the loss of her daughter Billie created unexpected purpose and momentum, and how welcoming her son Fletcher has changed things again.

Before she became a mother, Dani Reilly (nee Wales) thought about ambition the way most driven people do — as something external. Building, achieving, creating momentum and proving what was possible. She was deeply passionate about her work, motivated by growth, impact and recognition. Ambition had a shape she recognised.

Then in late 2024, Dani's daughter Billie tragically passed away at 10 days old. Everything Dani thought she knew about ambition, purpose and what it means to keep moving was reshaped entirely.

"Losing Billie, and now becoming Fletcher's mum, has made ambition feel far more personal and intentional," she says. "I no longer feel driven by hustle for the sake of it. I'm driven by meaning. By creating a life, businesses and legacy that actually feel aligned with who I am and what matters most."

In the early days after Billie's death, survival was the focus. The grief was all-consuming, and purpose felt impossibly far away. But within that pain, something else was quietly forming — an overwhelming need for Billie's life to continue to ripple outward somehow.

Billie's Besties, the not-for-profit Dani founded in her daughter's name to support families navigating NICU, pregnancy and infant loss, wasn't born from the grief becoming smaller. It was born because the love remained enormous.

"It gave us somewhere to place that love," Dani says. "Somewhere to turn pain into action, connection and support for other families. I think purpose and grief now coexist for me. One doesn't cancel out the other."

"Billie's Besties wasn't created because the grief became smaller. It was created because the love for her remained so enormous."

That coexistence - of grief and joy, loss and momentum, building and carrying - is something Dani speaks about with striking clarity. She pushes back on the assumption that people in grief must either stay broken or recover neatly. The reality, she says, is messier and more human than that.

"You can be building businesses, raising children, laughing, showing up publicly and still carrying enormous sadness quietly every single day," she says. "Momentum after loss isn't about moving on. For me, it's about learning how to carry grief with you while continuing to live fully. Some days that feels empowering, and other days it feels incredibly heavy."

This year, Dani is running a marathon in New York to raise money for Billie's Besties, while running her businesses and welcoming Fletcher, her newborn son, into the world. When asked what ambition feels like now, her answer is characteristically honest.

"Ambition feels softer now, but also stronger in a strange way. I care less about urgency and more about intention." The marathon, she is clear, isn't about achievement in the traditional sense. "It's about carrying her with me. It's about honouring her life in a way that hopefully creates tangible change for other families."

"I've learnt that life can change in an instant, so I want the things I commit my energy to actually mean something."

Welcoming Fletcher has added yet another dimension. There is joy - overwhelming, beautiful joy - but it exists alongside grief, not in place of it. Dani is candid about navigating that balance while building businesses and raising a child after loss.

"Becoming Fletcher's mum has added another layer entirely. There's this constant balancing act between ambition and presence, and I think I'm learning they don't have to compete with each other."

What strikes you most about talking to Dani is her refusal to flatten the complexity of her experience into something easier to digest. She holds contradictory emotions - love and heartbreak, hope and fear, joy and grief - not as a struggle, but as a truth. "Humans are capable of holding very contradictory emotions at once," she says. "There's something really powerful in allowing all of those things to coexist honestly."

When asked about legacy - Billie's and her own - Dani's answer is quietly definitive. She hopes Billie's name becomes associated with comfort, support and tangible impact for families during some of the hardest moments of their lives. She hopes people understand that Billie existed, that she mattered, that her impact continues to ripple outward.

"I think my legacy will always be intertwined with hers now. She changed the way I see the world, the way I love, the way I work and the way I define success. Billie is part of every version of me moving forward."

It's a line that stays with you, truly highlighting the profound impact that having a child can have on the rest of your life as you know it.

That, perhaps, is the most honest definition of ambition after motherhood there is.

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Dani Reilly is a former contestant on The Block, the owner of STRONG Pilates Frankston, and founder of Billie's Besties, supporting families navigating neonatal illness and loss. Learn more and donate at billiesbesties.com.au.

This story is part of the Movement Without Mental Load campaign by Travel Tots